Sensory Deprivation
by leejeeg
Summary: Heero cares for Duo when he becomes catatonic
1. Chapter 1

Sensory Deprivation

by leejeeg

**Description**: Duo's recent torture by the criminal element has a profound effect on him. It has an unforeseen effect on Heero as well.

Don't own: no claim, yadda, yadda, yadda.

**Warnings**: Really short chapters. I find that it reads easier that way than if it was submitted as a long one-shot. Little bit of angst and a wee bit of romance.

_ONE_

Heero was acutely bothered. Annoyed, miffed, disturbed; any one of those words would adequately describe the dark haired young man's feelings when he received the news. Mission gone bad, but worse than that, betrayal within the organization. A rogue agent, tipped off the target, endangering the team. Duo's team. But true to the braided man's nature, his actions had saved the other Preventers, much to his own detriment.

It had been days before Duo was discovered in a locked tank: in Pre-Colony days such a tank was known as a Sensory Deprivation Chamber, designed to be used only for a few hours. The experience was supposed to provide enlightenment; it was supposed to be liberating, much in the same way that psychotropic drugs had been used in the latter twentieth century.

Duo had spent a little over 72 hours in the tank.

* * *

Duo turned on to his side in the confining hospital bed. He was grateful that his room had a window. He liked to watch as the sun made it's gradual climb into the earth's sky. He had been earth-side for quite some time, but the sunrise never failed to fascinate him; the boy from L-2 clung to that microscopic bit of normalcy.

After about fifteen minutes he rolled onto his back and let his eyes close.

* * *

Duo woke to a pretty blond nurse checking his vital signs. He stared at nothing as she gently gripped his wrist, taking his pulse. He heard a new voice in the distance, querying about his situation, at least he thought so; his thoughts were so disjointed and frenetic he could hardly concentrate.

"Thank you, nurse Ramirez." Sally Po dismissed the young woman. She turned to her patient. When he had first been admitted he had been catatonic, but in the last few days he had shown some signs of awareness, at least in the sense that he had been silently cooperating with the medical staff. But he wasn't talking and that alone was disturbing. Anyone who knew the loquacious young man knew that a silent Duo Maxwell was something to worry about.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I know these are short, but it felt right.

TWO

Quatre Reberba Winner wound his way through bustling hospital corridors to room 512. Duo was in bed, sleeping. He eased over to the one chair in the room and settled in. It had been this way since Duo had been rescued: each day one of the other ex-pilots took turns sitting with him. Sally had advised them that for lack of a better solution they should treat Duo as if he were in a coma. They read some his favorite books to him, made conversation, sang songs (actually only Quatre did this) and just generally reassured him. No one touched him. He reacted badly to this, tolerating minimal physical contact only from the medical staff, yet another alarming symptom of Duo's injuries, because as anyone who knew the braided boy was aware, Duo was extremely tactile and physically demonstrative.

Quatre was out of ideas so he began to read to Duo from the Koran, focusing on the first Sura. He knew that Duo was not particularly religious, apart from his earlier experiences with Maxwell Church, but the ritual prayer was mostly to comfort Quatre who was at a loss to help his friend.

* * *

He tired of reading after a while and fell silent. During these times he would attempt to use his empathic gift to reach out to Duo. So far what he found was fear and a feeling of confusion and emptiness. It was no different this time.

The door swung open and Sally entered. "Good afternoon, Quatre. How are you?"

Quatre smiled at Sally. "Well, thank you. What's on the agenda today?"

Sally walked around to the other side of the bed and began examining Duo, who sat through her ministrations passively. She sighed. "I am going to have to release Duo soon. Physically he has healed sufficiently to be sent home."

"But emotionally?"

"I don't know. I was thinking that rather than send him off to a psychiatric facility, perhaps the familiar environment of his own home might help. Maybe he will sleep more, after all, a hospital is no place to rest," she said with a wry chuckle.

Quatre was dismayed. "He hasn't been sleeping?"

She shook her head sadly. "Not at night-he has these nightmares," she told him, repressing a shudder. "All the staff on this floor can tell you, the screams are bone chilling. We had to isolate him to keep him from disturbing the other patients. Then all of a sudden he started staying awake through the night, only catching a few hours sleep during the day."

Quatre pressed his hand to his heart. He was overcome by a wave of dizziness. Sally glanced at him. "Are you all right?"

He gripped the arm to the chair tightly. "Oh, Allah," he whispered. It was always this way when Quatre's empathy kicked in; awash in strong emotions he had no choice but to let it flow through him. He looked at Duo. "Sally, I think Duo wants to go home."


	3. Chapter 3

THREE

Quatre was unsure just what he had picked up from Duo. The pain had been crystal clear, but the desire to leave was mixed in with fear and loneliness and other feelings he just did not understand. Reading Duo was like trying to read a newspaper left out in the rain.

* * *

He discussed Duo's release from the hospital with the other ex-pilots. They needed to decide who would stay with the braided young man, who would best be able to care for him in his fragile state. "I will stay with him," Heero declared. The others looked at him in astonishment. Everyone knew how exasperating Heero found Duo, and Chang Wufei began a halfhearted protest: "Yuy, that may not be the most prudent decision on your part-perhaps I......."

"I will do it," Heero repeated with the tiniest inflection to his voice. "But," Chang tried again, "we, eh, we don't want you to kill him, we all know how the idiot pushes your buttons!"

Heero merely snorted at this and Chang gave up.

* * *

Later that day Quatre approached the stoic young man. "Heero?"

"What is it, Quatre? Are you too afraid that I may harm Duo?"

Quatre reeled back slightly. He was picking up an intense emotion from Heero. _His feelings are hurt_. Quatre sighed imperceptibly. He was perhaps the only one aware of how deeply injured Heero was by everyone's misperception of him.

Quatre understood that the Japanese boy was trying to be more sociable and approachable. In fact, before he met Duo he was downright scary. Duo had worn him down somehow; indeed, his vivacious manner and out going personality were hard to ignore and resist. But he was still too intimidating. Even Relena had abandoned her crush on the ex-Gundam pilot. It was obvious that he was not attracted to her, although he professed a deep and abiding respect for the diplomat and her ideals. Relena had, thankfully, recognized the futility of pursuing the "Perfect Soldier", when they really had nothing in common.

"No Heero-I know that you consider Duo your friend. I just want you to know that I have been trying to read him and it's all jumbled inside; he is very confused, and, lost........I think."

"Aa. Arigato. I will bear this in mind."

Quatre smiled slightly. "Sally keeps saying that he needs the familiarity of his home environment. I think he needs something to latch on to-to help him back into the light, ne?"

Heero nodded, even though he did not understand what the blond Arabian was getting at. "I will do my best to put him at ease."

"I know you will," Quatre reassured his friend.


	4. Chapter 4

Four

Duo gave no resistance to Heero bringing him to his apartment, in fact, he had brushed his long cinnamon hair, braided it and washed and dressed himself, unaided and at Sally's suggestion. Heero led Duo to his bedroom where he fell asleep almost immediately, seemingly comforted by his familiar surroundings and daytime.

* * *

In the kitchen Heero filled a small red enameled teakettle with water and searched for tea while it heated. He was unnerved by Duo's silence. It was as if he were not even inside his body. Shouting and fighting; cursing and throwing things, even threats of violence-this he could handle, but Zombie Duo? Heero did not have the first clue of how he was going to get through to him.

* * *

The night was spent quietly after Heero took time becoming reacquainted with Duo's apartment. Heero had been there only a handful of times, but the time he spent had been enjoyable. Duo invited him to watch movies and play video games, but before Duo's mission they had not had a lot of time to socialize. Peacekeeping was a busy business these days.

* * *

Heero had Duo sit on the couch after dinner and went through the listings trying to find some of his favorite shows. It was Wednesday, so the programs were all nature shows and documentaries. Duo sat staring blankly ahead. Heero stared at him for a while. It was rather disconcerting to have Duo so near and yet not there at all, mentally. He actually missed his banter and commentary on-well, _everything_, really.

Heero was at a loss. _What should I do_? He was no good at small talk, but he tried anyway. "I never realized that the earth had had such a large animal population," he said. Duo sat silently, not even showing the slightest bit of acknowledgment at that comment. "The creatures of the Amazon were strange-looking, ne Duo?" Nothing. Heero glanced at him to make sure he was still breathing, at least.

* * *

Around midnight Heero had had enough. The silence was deafening and he was weary. He held out his hand to Duo. "Time to sleep, Duo."

Duo blinked. _Well, that's encouraging_, Heero thought sullenly.


	5. Chapter 5

Five

Heero yawned as he waited for the coffee to finish percolating. Normally he liked tea with his breakfast, but he was up most of the night checking on his silent patient. Duo had one nightmare during the night, but the bloodcurdling screams had ensured that Heero would get no more sleep.

Duo sat opposite him at the kitchen table. He was absently nibbling at a piece of toast. Heero was relieved that he could feed himself; the humiliation of needing someone to feed him would not help Duo's recovery, the lively Preventer agent was a very proud young man who abhorred showing weakness.

Heero peered at him thoughtfully. They had been through rough times: first with the wars and then as agents. Some missions had left scars both on the outside and inside but Heero was baffled by Duo's condition. Duo was as tough as they came and was probably the bravest and most daring young man he had ever known. What could have shocked his brilliant, quick mind to this degree?

Duo had finished his breakfast and slumped in his chair. Heero gently grasped his arm and he rose passively, letting himself be led. Heero thought that on some level Duo knew it was him and trusted him. No one else was able to lead him around like this: except for the hospital personnel he shrank from touch-even Quatre's.

Heero looked out of the living room window. It was a nice day and suddenly he had the urge to be out of doors. It might do Duo some good as well.

"Duo, lift your foot. I just want to get this sneaker on you." Duo was perched at the end of his bed, looking like a small boy. Heero made him wash up and told him what clothes to put on and he complied obediently except for the footwear, causing Heero to frown. What he wouldn't give to hear the baka argue with him.

* * *

There was a nice little park near Duo's apartment. Heero tugged him along as he took in the sun and air. Sometimes he longed for the quietude of space, but earth held its own charms and attractions. Besides, he remembered reading somewhere that sunlight was an antidepressant. He thought it might lift Duo's spirits somehow. He settled them on a bench near a dog run. Duo seemed focused for the first time since he was rescued. He was watching the dogs scamper and cavort with obvious interest. Heero was encouraged. "These dogs are energetic, aren't they?" he said, not expecting an answer, and not getting one. But Duo's face was brighter and that was good enough for now.

* * *

Later, after the park Heero ordered Duo to bathe. He kept barging into the bathroom every ten minutes, just to make sure Duo didn't drown, but he was okay. At one point when he went to check on his charge he had to avert his eyes because Duo had gotten out of the tub and was lazily toweling his nude body dry. Heero had seen nude male bodies before but the way Duo rubbed himself was downright sensual and disconcerting given the fact that his personality seemed to have taken a vacation from reality. Heero colored profusely, much to his own chagrin and mumbled something about Duo being all right and rushed back into the kitchen to make their supper. The fact that Duo was near catatonic did nothing to assuage his embarrassment-in fact that made it worse somehow and dinner was a quiet affair.

* * *

That night the nightmare was shorter-lived, but no less disturbing.

* * *

The first time it happened Heero rushed into the room, heart racing and eyes wild, searching Duo's room for a threat or some sort of danger. He found Duo tangled in the bedclothes, gasping and yelling, wordless terror gripping him in sleep. He hesitated: grabbing Duo now could earn him a broken arm or jaw. Duo may have been locked away in his own world, but that did not make his movements in this situation predictable. But Heero could not stand to see him suffer this way so he took a chance and wrapped strong arms around him, pinning Duo's arms to his side. "It's all right, 02. It's 01. You are safe." After a little more writhing and struggling the braided boy stilled. His eyes opened and Heero could swear they were filled with relief. But he remained silent and Heero left, feeling violet eyes on his back in the dark.

* * *

And that was how it was, subsequent times.


	6. Chapter 6

Still rather short-I know, but hey, at least it won't tie anyone's day up too much,lol.

Six

"Sally, perhaps sedating him might help. He needs more sleep."

"No, Heero. Think about it-soldiers like you and he have been through a lot, if Duo is having nightmares now, what would it be like with him drugged and out of control? No, it could only make things worse. I'm sorry."

"Hn. Thank you."

"Heero?"

"Hai?"

"Is he showing _any_ improvement?"

"I bring him to the park in the morning. He seems to find some enjoyment watching the dogs."

"Really? That is interesting. Anything else?"

"Not really, no."

"Okay. Keep me updated."

Heero hung up the phone feeling even more frustrated. Before he could think of what to do next the doorbell rang. Heero fought the deep rooted urge to draw his weapon. He wasn't expecting anyone, but an enemy was hardly going to just walk up to the door and knock, right? He strode to the door, eyes narrowed and opened it. "Quatre," he said his voice a monotone betraying none of his surprise. Trowa was right behind the small Arab, naturally. "Hello Heero, I hope we're not intruding. Sorry we didn't call."

"Hn."

Quatre chuckled taking Heero's noncommittal grunt as forgiveness for his lack of manners. He stepped away from the door, admitting them. "So, how is our quiet patient today?"

"Quiet."

Quatre frowned. He was hoping that Duo would be talking by now. "Where is he? Can we see him?"

Heero led them out to the small garden in the back of the apartment. Duo was sitting on a chaise lounge watching birds. He was wearing a dark blue sweatshirt and jeans and his hair was neatly pulled back in his ubiquitous braid. Quatre sighed. At least he_ looked_ like the old Duo. He moved to a spot in front of his friend, blocking his view and forcing him to look up. Quatre smiled. "Hello Duo. How are you? Enjoying this fine spring weather, ne?"

Duo stared. He blinked. Then he stared some more. Quatre talked a little more, just small talk. He mentioned Iria and some of his other sisters and what was new in the family. He went on gamely for a few minutes more and then sighed again.

When Quatre went back inside he found Trowa and Heero talking softly in the kitchen over a few beers. Quatre helped himself to Trowa's beer and listened in on their conversation. "I suspect that Duo's time being deprived of sensory input has immersed him in a primal state. He is like a wild untamed animal at this point. Your best bet, Heero, is to gain his trust somehow." Trowa could not help himself: everything was likened to his experiences with the big cats.

"But I already seem to have that," Heero protested.

"Yes-there are vestiges of your friendship from the war-but he may need to trust you with whatever broke his mind."

"I have taken the liberty of trying to read Duo," Quatre piped up. "When he was first admitted to the hospital, his mind was severely fragmented. I just read him again and it is better, although his thoughts do not seem to be particularly organized. It's as if he is trying desperately to avoid thinking about something."

"Bad memories?" This was Trowa.

Quatre shook his head. "Perhaps. Only Duo knows."

Heero sighed in frustration. "What do you suggest I do?"

"Again-I don't know. But being home seems to be helping."

After Quatre and Trowa took their leave Heero went outside. Duo was on the ground, playing with some twigs. He scratched aimlessly at the dirt. This gave Heero an idea. He opened the doors to a small potting shed hoping for a little luck. There was nothing much in the shed except for a small bag of potting soil some plastic pots, a spade and watering can. "Damn," he swore under his breath. Turning to face Duo he said, "Come on, Duo, we are going in to town."

* * *

They went to a hardware store. Duo's eyes wandered around the store, eyeing tools and parts with curiosity. It was almost as if he had never been in such a place before. Heero purchased wood, carving tools, glue, a hammer, paint and nails. That evening, while Duo sat immobile Heero downloaded a schematic.


	7. Chapter 7

Seven

The next day it rained so they were unable to go to the park. The previous night passed relatively quietly and Heero considered it a major gain even though he was sure Duo hadn't slept for more than an hour or two.

* * *

After lunch he gathered all the materials he purchased at the hardware store and spread them out over newspaper on the kitchen table. He gently guided Duo to the table. "We are going to complete a project," he told him. "You like the birds in the yard, so we are going to build a bird house. That way you can have many birds to watch," he trailed off, trying not to wince at how lame it sounded to his own ears. Duo looked at him, eye contact lasting a few minutes longer this time. And then the best thing happened: he actually nodded, a small almost imperceptible movement, but Heero would take it and gladly. Heero's lips curled upward slightly-almost a smile. "Good," he said encouraged, "lets look at the schematic."

* * *

They worked on the bird house all afternoon. Heero was impressed with Duo's ability. Apparently he retained full kinetic memory, as skilled hands worked effortlessly, cutting and sanding wood, gluing and painting. Duo bit his lip in concentration as he put the finishing touches on the roof: shingles. Heero watched him, fascinated. He subconsciously found him most appealing. When he was finished Heero patted his shoulder. "You did a good job, Duo. I think the birds will really enjoy this." Heero was rewarded by a small smile and a trace of the old Duo was there, shocking him with the knowledge that he really missed the rambunctious ex-pilot.

* * *

The next morning at the park there were not many dogs present but Duo did not seem to mind. After about an hour a girl came by with a Collie. Duo smiled at the sight of the dog and the girl noticed. She smiled at the two young men and approached. "Would you like to pet her?" she addressed Duo. He smiled at the girl who reminded Heero of someone wrapped up in a painful memory. Heero rose and stepped away from the bench, but not before he saw Duo nod affirmatively to the girl's offer. "Her name is Corky. She is real friendly."

Duo reached a hand out tentatively and lowered it so the dog could sniff him. In minutes he was petting and scratching behind the animals' ears. The enjoyment on his face gave Heero hope.

Eventually the girl, whose name was Julia, and Corky moved on. Heero was glad because it was almost lunch time and if he was hungry Duo had to be ravenous.


	8. Chapter 8

Eight

Duo had been in Heero's care for nearly a month when Hilde and Howard came to visit. Hilde was visibly shaken by Duo's quiet demeanor. He was entirely too passive for her liking, but she braved the garden with him, watching birds flit around the birdhouse for nearly an hour. Howard stayed inside with Heero. "I hate seein' the kid like this," he told Heero as they watched them from the living room. Howard was drinking beer straight from the bottle and Heero wondered how sober the older man was because it was only just noon. "Ya know, being locked up in that tank must've been a nightmare for him. Duo ran on the streets of L2 with a gang when he was a kid."

Heero did in fact know this. "Yes, it was his friend Solo, the one who died who led this gang."

Howard nodded, hand raising to wipe a little beer off of his beard. "Solo protected them all-although once or twice Duo got caught."

_Caught_? "What do you mean?"

Howard sighed and grimaced as if recalling something truly distasteful. And it was. "Kid was snagged by a couple of street toughs who had an appreciation for a pretty face. He was damn near raped, but Solo managed to get to him before any real damage was done."

Heero was stunned and appalled. Who would do such a thing to a child? Duo had to be all of about six years old-just two years before he went to the orphanage at Maxwell Church and then shortly after into G's tutelage. Why was Howard bringing this up? As if Howard had read his mind, "Duo learned early on about safety in numbers, watching your partner's back and all. Being alone in the tank must have seriously messed him up-hell anyone with two damn eyes can see he's doin' what he always does: running and hiding. And since he never lies that's probably where the nightmares are comin' from."

Heero stared at Howard wide-eyed. All of the medical professionals who examined the braided pilot hadn't even come close to the astute observations the older Sweeper made. Howard however, seemed quite oblivious to the Japanese boy's reaction. He drained the dregs of his bottle and said, "he's sure to snap out of it though. Living with you has to be a good thing. Dr. Po told me that Duo made a little improvement when you moved here and what wit' the kid's cru-uh, never mind," Howard chuckled dismissively.

Before Heero could delve into what was quite obviously a slip not intended for his ears, Hilde came back inside. "Duo's still looking at the birds."

"He say anything?"

She smiled sadly. "No Howard. Damn but what I wouldn't give to hear one of his dumb jokes right now."

Howard patted the petite ebony haired girl soothingly. "He's gonna snap out of it any time now-you'll see."

Hilde looked skeptical. "Maybe we should bring him back to L2, it might jar him out of this state he's in...."

"No!" Heero cut in a bit too sharply. "Dr. Po has indicated that he should stay where he is comfortable."

Hilde's raised eyebrow conveyed her annoyance, or was it amusement? "Duo_ is_ comfortable on L2, Heero."

"Nah," Howard interjected before the two could clash, "leave him be, Hil. I think Heero's takin' good care of the kid. Besides, you're pretty busy at the scrap yard-how would you manage takin' the braided wonder on with all your other duties?"

Hilde scowled. She hated it when the old coot was right. "Fine-but if anything changes-_anything_, Heero, I want to know about it."

"Hn."

Still scowling Hilde bid both men goodbye. Howard was smiling when Heero showed him the door. "Just keep doing what you're doing, Heero. It'll be okay."

Suddenly Heero was alone, but with a clearer sense of things, including how he might help Duo.


	9. Chapter 9

Nine

Chang Wufei arrived the following day after returning from an assignment on L1. Heero asked how things were, curious about the Lagrange Colony, where he was born. Wufei and several Preventer agents infiltrated a slave labor group who had been kidnapping children. After a painful two weeks, the arrests were made along with one Preventer casualty and Wufei suffered minor injuries to his left arm and right knee. Unfortunately, some of the children remain unrecovered; the unscrupulous individuals who bought them disappeared. Heero debated whether or not to allow Duo to hear Wufei's grueling account of his experiences. The news would either jolt him to the here and now (Duo adores children and does all he can to help them in orphanages, or at least he used to) or send him further into his self-imposed retreat. Ultimately Heero chose the former, not wanting to agitate the boy.

* * *

Chang ate dinner with the other two pilots and spent the time observing Duo. Abruptly he announced, " I believe that Maxwell would benefit from meditation."

Heero frowned; he was skeptical. "I don't know about that Chang-he was practically catatonic weeks ago, could he be persuaded to do such a thing?"

Wufei was thoughtful. He did not know much about the workings of the inner mind. "You raise a valid question, Yuy. But I think it is worth a try. If anything it may give him a sense of peace, or at least provide some calm for his troubled mind. Quatre told me some time ago that he sensed that Maxwell's thoughts were frenetic, somewhat disjointed."

"Hn."

"Perhaps I could come tomorrow and work with him on it. I am on short leave until my injuries are healed."

"Hn," Heero scoffed. Wufei smirked. "Stuff it Yuy. Une ordered me on leave, ridiculous onna."

Heero nearly smiled. The thought of Duo's reaction, had his partner been his normal self, amused Heero.

Wufei went to the living room where Duo was sitting in front of the video screen, not watching the evening news. "Maxwell," Wufei began but then thought better of it, "Duo, I am going to return tomorrow and I would like it very much if you would allow me to instruct you in the art of meditation. It might help ease your mind."

Duo's eyebrow twitched so minutely the other men nearly missed it. "Was that an answer?" Wufei wondered. Heero was staring at his friend intently. "I think Duo agreed, Chang."

Wufei nodded gravely. "Then I shall return tomorrow at six a.m.


	10. Chapter 10

Ten

Wufei was nothing if not punctual. He was fresh-looking and ready for his "patient". Duo was sitting in the garden watching a butterfly when the Chinese Preventer agent spoke. "Good morning, Duo. I see you have chosen quite an ideal spot for us to begin." It hardly mattered if Duo had indeed chosen the garden for meditative purposes; Wufei decided that praising the troubled young man for making a choice would help him to come back to consciousness. He lowered himself onto the grass unconcerned for his perfectly white trousers and sat cross-legged opposite Duo. He closed his eyes and said quietly, "it is important to take control of one's mind, of one's emotions. Essential to this is the mantra-a phrase that will give you comfort and security. Think of the word and repeat it over and over in your mind. Let your thoughts go-all except your mantra, thereby increasing your concentration. My mantra is "gray", a blending of both light and dark energies. Concentrate on your mantra, Duo."

_Duo on some level was hearing every word Wufei said. He was sorely tempted to let his consciousness surface, but the fear was till too strong. He maintained awareness of the recent past, knew that Heero was taking care of him. Heero was patient and kind, and Duo wished he could let his friend know how much he appreciated it. But there was fear and with fear, pain. But he was weary of it. He wanted to come back but he did not know how to accomplish it. It was as if he was in a room with no doors or windows like the box he'd been trapped in. Perhaps the mantra............In his jumbled mind he tried to focus: wing, wing, wing.........

* * *

_

They came inside after about an hour. The rain started shortly after. The three young men ate lunch in the kitchen Duo staring blankly at his plate. This really disturbed Wufei who was used to Duo's loud eating habits. Duo seemed so calm outwardly. Wufei wondered what bad memories had forced his retreat. "Do you think you made progress?" Heero wanted to know. Wufei sighed. Trust Yuy to treat Duo's malady like a mission. He wondered why he didn't just bark out "status!" like in the days of the war. "I cannot say for sure. I don't think it harmed him."

"Hn."

"It was very kind of you to give up your time and attention like this." Wufei was beginning to have an appreciation for the job Yuy had undertaken. After a very interesting conversation with Quatre he realized that Yuy needed some support and encouragement.

"I want.......to help him, Chang. I don't like 'silent' Duo. It is not as selfless as it seems. I.............miss my apartment sometimes, and a real bed as opposed to a roll away cot."

Wufei's face registered surprise: it was uncommon for Heero to be so candid about his feelings and to voice any complaints. "What about work?"

"Une had that covered when I told her of my intention to take care of Duo. I work here, analyzing data. It does not take me long."

"Well, I for one admire your efforts Yuy. You are a good friend to Duo."

This made the Japanese boy sigh. "I wasn't always. This now, is the least I can do. Duo persisted in being my friend and I know I am the better for it."

But there was more to it than that and Heero let it remain unsaid, lest he give Chang a coronary. The Chinese warrior was every bit as vulnerable to warm and fuzzy feelings as he was.


	11. Chapter 11

Eleven

Despite Chang's best efforts meditation had not succeeded. Heero grew more impatient with each passing day. Why couldn't a nice smack snap the ex-pilot out of it? Of course Heero knew that that was not the answer, but what was? His frustration was increasing incrementally to the increase of Duo's silent days. And he was still enduring sporadic bouts of Duo's "night terrors", as he'd come to think of them.

* * *

It was not just that Heero was tired of the whole situation; he missed his best friend terribly. He found himself feeling so alone even though he and Duo were together contantly. He missed the joking around, the banter, the way Duo could get him to do things he would never consider, like when they went to the games arcade. Heero had really enjoyed that evening. Everything was better for him, when Duo was involved.

* * *

Heero decided to do some research. He found a method he found disagreeable, but at this point he was willing to try anything.

* * *

Heero told Duo that they were going to see a movie. After the movie he brought him to an abandoned building in the east end of town. Duo silently balked at the prospect of going in the dilapidated pile of flats but Heero propelled him along, trying not to force him too much. Clearly his friend was agitated, twitching and feebly trying to free his arm from Heero's grasp, but Heero bulled on, determined.

* * *

The building was one Heero remembered from a couple of years ago: a white slavery ring had based its operations there. As a particularly cruel form of torture to get the abducted women to cooperate, they were locked in a room in the basement with no windows. Once the door was closed it was so dark without lights that you couldn't see your own hand in front of your face. This was how the slavers broke the womens' spirits.

* * *

Heero wondered if Duo remembered that case. He continued down stairs that creaked questionably until he brought them to the room. He entered, this time dragging Duo with him. Then he closed the door. It was so dark. He felt Duo skitter away and drop to the floor. Heero took a deep breath. This would either work or make things so much worse.


	12. Chapter 12

Twelve

Twenty minutes passed, or maybe it was a half an hour, Heero couldn't be sure. Duo was stone silent in a corner of the room. Heero started to talk. "Duo, I know you don't want to be here, and I'm sorry that I tricked you. I didn't know what else to do. Everyone has fears, things they don't want to face, but you don't have to be afraid. You are not alone-not anymore." He paused, unsure of what to say next. Moments passed. "You know," he said in a burst of sudden inspiration, "you are my first true friend. I never had a friend before the wars. Odin called me kid; I guess its because when he found me I could not remember my own name. He took care of me, but it was like I was a dog he was training. Even dogs get affection," he said, bitterly.

Duo whimpered. Heero's heart began to pound. _Was it working? Was Duo beginning to respond_? He went on, his voice echoing in the dark, "then J found me-after Odin was killed. His last advice to me was to follow my emotions. What a joke! When J got a hold of me I was like a blank check. He could make anything out of me and he did-a cold, calculating death bringer."

Duo cried out in anguish.

"What scared you, Duo? What anguish lies in your heart that you had to run so far?" Heero urged, "Tell me."

Duo's sobs were audible and reverberating in the small, black room. Something snapped inside of his head. He was in the dark again and he was scared. He did not want to be here, but at least he wasn't alone._ He wasn't alone. Heero was here._ Heero-he could do this if Heero was here because he trusted that Heero would not let him get lost again. He could trust Heero with the truth. "Why, why are you telling me this" he choked out in a strangled voice hoarse from disuse. Heero closed his eyes, _Duo spoke_. This next revelation just might destroy him. "I had a mission. The intel was bad and I killed a little girl and her puppy. Every time I took you to that dog run, it tore my heart out. I know now it was an accident, but..........." he trailed off. How many times had he told himself that it was an accident, that he would have aborted the mission if he'd known. Tears began to trail down his cheeks. He now fully understood how Duo must have felt, isolated in that tank, alone with his treacherous memories, the guilt and the fear.

Duo was full out sobbing now. Inside his head the memories gathered strength, coalesced, sending him reeling. He writhed on the dusty floor in the dark. _No, no_, he cried to himself, trying to resist the memory that sent him into this fragmented world. It was so painful, but he could not fight it any more. He screamed and it tore Hero apart. "Duo, Duo, come to me-please," he said as he crawled the floor groping blindly. His finger tips brushed the tuft of Duo's braid and he gently reeled him in, locking arms around him when he was close enough. "Tell me-let it out," Heero urged.

Duo sobbed and gulped a throatful of saliva. "When," he coughed and cleared his throat, "when I was on the streets-before I lived with Sister and Father Maxwell, Solo sent me on a dumpster run. I had to try and find enough scraps and leftovers to feed the gang. I wasn't doing too well, not until I wandered over to the city center. I found a bag of stale bagels and I thought I'd hit the jackpot." Duo began coughing and Heero waited patiently knowing the worst was yet to come. Duo's grip on Heero's arms tightened. "I was trying to climb out of the dumpster when my foot nudged something stiff. I started kicking at it with my foot when an arm came sliding across me. It was a body. I couldn't believe it. I started pulling garbage off-it was Booker, a kid in our gang. He was naked and there were track marks all over his arm. It looked like he found someone to feed his heroin habit and he o.d.'d, and, and," Duo broke off tearfully. Heero was holding him, rubbing soothing circles along his back. "They threw him in a dumpster, Heero, a person-threw him away like he was garbage." The sobbing began anew. "I don't-I'm not garbage!" he wailed. "When I was in that tank it's all I could think of-I was so freaked out."

"It's okay Duo. That would never happen to you. I won't let it."


	13. Chapter 13

Thirteen

After Duo snapped out of his near catatonia, Heero got them the hell out of that room. Duo was exhausted and emotionally drained. It was two days before he would even talk about it. Sally came to see him, examined him and declared him fit, but entreated him, well begged him, actually, to see a therapist. Duo reluctantly agreed. After he punched Heero in the jaw for forcing him into that dark room."Immersion therapy, my ass!" he declared after Heero told him why he had done it. Sally had balled out the young man quite thoroughly as well. "What you did was foolish, irresponsible and-damn it you're lucky it worked!"

* * *

A month later found both agents working together on a case quite amicably; their relationship had resumed its friendly overtones, but there was a new closeness that existed between them, born from a mutual experience of suffering.

* * *

Heero was typing intently. Duo stared at his partner, trying to figure out how to say what he wanted to say. Finally he just went over and sat at the edge of Heero's desk. Heero looked up, surprised. "Heero, I never did thank you properly for helping me-before. Thanks, buddy."

"I thought that punch was your thanks."

Duo chuckled. "Still sore over that? Geez, 'Ro, I said I was sorry. You have to admit that it was a rotten trick."

"Hai-but, it worked."

"Yeah? Well, what if it didn't?"

"But it did."

"I _realize_ that. But it _might_ not have."

"But it _did_."

Duo huffed, exasperated. "D'ya have ta be so single minded?"

"Yes." But it was said with a shy smile, one that Duo had seen before and began wondering about. "Say, buddy, do you think you'd like to, that is, I mean-will you, um........."

"Get to the point, baka."

"Can we-um, can we go out-like as on a date?"

"Yes, we can."

Two months later, Duo and Heero were still dating, falling in love, and true to his word, Heero never let Duo be alone again.


End file.
